R A Zafar

and Breathe

the air transforms on the quiet beach
the sea must be firozi, neela                                                               turquoise         blue
— aren’t these my colours?
(that I rarely speak) 

perhaps these locals can hear my parents
imprinted in my skin
or it’s my kaala hair making their akha                                              black               eyes
stick and stick and stick 

all is weighted

 whose heavy is it? mera? tera?                                                           mine?              yours?
telepathic messages wrap around me
reminding me of the heavy chadar                                                     shawl
hiding my pregnant amee (pregnancy didn’t exist then — shhh)       mum    shhh    mum

 too many eyes here — too many —
I retreat to a tourist enclave
the crowds smudge me into camouflage                               
I swallow my sah back                                                                        breathe

 Sah                                                                                                      breathe 

it’s alright (shhh)                                                                                breathe
—  there’s nothing to see                                                                      breathe

R A Zafar is a UK writer, born in the south and raised in the north, with a couple of published poems. After years of poetry courses, procrastination and laziness she is finally sending more of her poems out into the world of submissions, and working towards putting together her first collection.