JL Bogenschneider

swallows oast

Oasting was a custom popular in the Upper and Lower Hardres in the years prior to the Mary Wars. The Swallows – landowners of some renown – began the practice, which involved younger members of the family swooping upon lone walkers who trod neglected pathways known as the Maunsell Sands, to frighten them into taking safer routes through the Hardres. This custom is the origin of the old saying, “Swallows oast where danger is most.”

When the youngest member of the Swallow family — seven-year-old Eustace Montague — was fatally injured following an oasting gone wrong, the practice was suspended. It was revived some years later by persons unknown and became popular as a Walpurgisian tradition, with the less altruistic aim of frightening anyone who walked the streets after midnight. A successful oasting was one that caused the recipient to scream in terror without being able to identify their assailant. The custom was outlawed when an increasing number of assaults and robberies were claimed to be — and defended as — misunderstood oastings. With the advent of gas, and then electric lighting, the Swallow family paid for the Maunsell Sands to be maintained and adequately illuminated in perpetuity.

Oasting survives today as a pageant attended by many residents of the — now united — Hardres. Early pageants were inaugurated by young members of the Swallow family, in tribute to Eustace Montague, but since the Swallow lineage died out, these days the pageant can be declared open by any member of the community, chosen at random by tombola.  

swallows oast

Not to be taken literally, “swallows oast” was a phrase popular in the Upper and Lower Hardres in the early years of the Mary Wars. It was initially used to describe someone who believed the tallest of tall tales: a naïve teqmedoun, particularly gullible when under influence of alcohol, but who might just as easily be duped sober. Later it became a sobriquet applicable to anyone who accepted as truth that which was clearly falsehood.

A notable example from this period was Josiah Morgan, a retired army Major and Chief Magistrate of the Upper and Lower Hardres, known to view serious assaults and robberies upon persons along the Maunsell Sands as misinterpreted oastings, and to hand down lenient sentences accordingly. Major Morgan died following an oasting issued upon him by a wronged civilian, who was subsequently charged with murder and sentenced to undertake a Ketch Drop.

Today, the term retains its meaning, but usage is falling out of fashion and it is seen as an archaic turn of phrase, ageing the speaker somewhat. In a related derivation, members of the judiciary seemingly blind to justice may be removed from their post via a procedure known as “morganising.”

Swallow’s Oast 

An oast (also: oast house; oast kiln) was a building belonging to a member of the Swallow family, who were notable pacifists in the Upper and Lower Hardres during the second and third phases of the Mary Wars. The most significant oast during this period belonged to Emily Swallow, who put it into service as a place of refuge during the numerous incursions into the region.

Emily Swallow’s oast was a tall, red-brick affair that overlooked both Hardres and which could be seen from many miles away. Combatants would often travel great distances in order to be cared for by Swallow, although most were killed in the effort. In the aftermath of the Mary Wars, Swallow’s oast was used as a temporary mausoleum for fallen combatants who had yet to be returned to their clan, falling into disrepair soon after, as the Swallow family’s fortunes waned.

Today, Emily Swallow’s oast functions as a hospital, having been taken over by the Hirundinidae Trust and leased to the Community Health Council. Nurses who study at the oast’s training kells are recognised the world over for their skills and are often referred to colloquially as ‘Swallows’.

Swallow’s oast

The term ‘Swallow’s oast’ derives from Charlotte Swallow, one of the few members of the Swallow family remaining, following the gruelling third and fourth phases of the Mary Wars. She lived in an oast inherited from her grandmother, Emily, and continued her ancestor’s practice of providing refuge to those who sought it, defying the edicts of the Marian Council and withstanding all attempts made upon her to cease operations and join the fun.

A statue of Charlotte Swallow was built during one of the Mary War’s sporadic truces and erected on the boundary of the Upper and Lower Hardres. However, it was dismantled by anti-pacifists soon afterwards. No visual evidence of the statue exists, but historical accounts concur that it was a “white marbled beauty in the vein of Edmonia Lewis”.*

By mere reputation, Charlotte Swallow’s oast became the object of much admiration and nowadays an oast is anyone who maintains the moral high ground in the face of great opposition. 

*An Introduction To The Mary Wars, C.S. Mierscheid, Miskatonic University Press

JL Bogenschneider is a writer of short fiction, with work in a number of print and online journals, including Cosmonauts Avenue, Lunate, Vol. 1 Brooklyn, 404 Ink, PANK and Ambit. Their chapbook, Fears For The Near Future, is available from Neon Books.