Kathryn Bevis

In which the Octopus is an Undiagnosed Autistic Woman

after Natalie Shapiro

some say the octopus is sick / some say the octopus ate a bad prawn / some say the octopus is learning a lot from her mistakes / some say the octopus has set herself up for disappointment / by failing to appreciate the dialectic between her longing for authentic connection / and her real and pressing need for an unusual degree of solitude / some say the octopus is high maintenance / should meditate on the relative misfortunes of others / in order to gain a more realistic and less self-indulgent / sense of perspective on her own anguish / some say the octopus must toughen up / must grow a pair of octopus balls / must take it like a man / some say the octopus should suck it up / some say the octopus should choke it down / some say the octopus is mistaking her thoughts / for truths and needs to challenge / her marked and unhelpful tendencies / towards catastrophising mind-reading / and black-and-white thinking / some say the octopus should take her medicine / should rigorously monitor her internal monologue / for signs of self-criticism self-deprecation self-apology / and above all must eradicate any hint of self-talk / involving the words must and should

Kathryn Bevis is a neurodivergent poet and educator, Hampshire Poet 2020-21, and founder of The Writing School Online. Her poems have been published or are forthcoming in The London Magazine, Poetry Ireland Review, Under the Radar, and iamb. Awards include the 2019 Poets & Players Prize, the 2019 Against the Grain Prize, second place in the 2021 York Poetry Prize, and her pamphlet manuscript was highly commended in the 2021 Mslexia Pamphlet Competition. She designs and delivers poetry courses for adults in mental health settings, substance-misuse recovery settings, and prisons and is the editor of two anthologies of poetry by new and emerging poets. She is working towards her first collection.